If you're an American living abroad with no American country-folk around you, you know it starts to suck when the middle of November rolls around. Pumpkin filled dishes start coming up on your Pinterest…cute little french bulldogs dressed in turkey costumes appear on Instagram…and stories of terribly fun and yummy looking "Friendsgivings" show up on Facebook.
Why Australia! Why do you not have a Thanksgiving?! I know, the whole thing with Pilgrims and Indians doesn't fit but that's not what modern Turkey Day is all about. It's a brilliant day - a holiday that isn't centred around consumerism, doesn't involve material things and isn't associated with a religion. It's so beautifully simple. A table, friends and/or family, food, drink and some "Thank You's" are all you need.
So, as I sit here celebrating Thanksgiving by watching American TV (Woohoo! for the new US channel in Sydney!) while eating homemade stir fry, I need to come up with some sort of holiday substitution to keep myself from sulking. No, I don't have 5 of the turkey day essentials (especially the turkey) but thankfulness is accessible anywhere in the world.
Here are my top 5 so I don't bore you.
Thank you…
1. Mother nature for putting trees in places that are better off with trees, flowers in bleak nooks and crannies and invisible unicorns.
2. Friends and family for unconditional love.
3. Body for being whole and getting out of bed every day.
4. Animals for being nourishment, comfort and so damn cute.
5. People of the world for random acts of kindness. I hope you're given the same treatment you give.
She's now over 40 but almost 20 years ago she was all over the news as that woman. The home wrecker of the POTUS. Brown hair, pretty and so much younger than him. Remember her?
During the beginning of the talk, I wondered as I watched, why come out and speak now? What is the point? Why even bring it up? Honestly, it kind of made me cringe. I was incredibly surprised to see her standing on that stage. She would have been the last person I imagined to be standing up in front of a TED audience.
But, you know what? She is well spoken and has a story to share. A story, I realised, that had never been told through her own lips. She absolutely should share it! She should share it for herself and for others out there who are violated and isolated. She deserves every right to stand up for her shame and humiliation. That takes some real guts.
Almost humiliated literally to death? Oh my. The YouTube video even has the comments section disabled!
What is it with us and humiliation? What feels so good about publicly shaming people we don't even know? Click click click. Numb numb numb.
Let's not celebrate the negative side of our species, no matter who it is. I don't know Monica. I don't care if she is an angel or a skank. Don't tar and feather. That is so antiquated.
And, she receives a standing ovation. Woohoo! You go girl.
The raging storm outside is seriously impressive. The winds are blowing, the water is dumping and the light is booming. I would take a picture but pictures of the weather never do it justice. I'm sure there is good reason for it, but my photos never seem to capture the light striking or the rain coming down in sheets. They usually look like unimpressive grey blurs. Plus, the best part of a storm is the sound, which is completely lost in a picture. A picture can speak a thousand words…but maybe only in sign language.
So, I close my eyes to listen to the sounds. The rain on the metal roof of the overhang outside my balcony. Big, fat drops, heavy on the tin. (Or, whatever it is made of. Sure sounds like what tin should sound like. Isn't there a play, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof? But it's probably aluminium. Anyway…Back to the sounds of the storm.) Then I went upside down. Just because everything sounds better upside-down. Don't believe me? Oh well, try it.
Lots of splashes. Water on the streets kicked up from wheels. And, it's silent. Silent from the sound of people. All the crazy people who roam the streets have ran and hidden somewhere in the big game of storm against loony hide-and-seek. But, then the storm lets up and the drops become fewer. The water on the road gets more displaced and the sky is still. It's called the calm after the storm, right? Or is that the calm before the storm? Maybe there is both.
But, I'm not ready to listen to things right side up yet. Back into the handstand. What a good opportunity for some Matthieu Ricard.
Altruism with a background melody of raindrops? Oh the silence of selflessness! The symphony of the anti-ego! Sustainable, harmonic collaboration. Grow quantitively together, doing more with less, not because it is all fuzzy and warm feeling but because it makes sense as a society and as an individual. Have more consideration for others.
Start small. Start with the individual. Become the society.
What if something as simple as collaboration could save our species?
Collaboration. Altruism. Words of the day! With a background ballad of rain.
Can we change? Train our minds to be happy? Better yet, actually change our grey and white matter? Yes, neuroplasticity!
Can we not really be happy and hateful at the same time, in the same brain? Oh, what a contradiction! But, wait! Geroge Orwell calls this doublethink! Oh yes, it exists, at least in 1984.
Do you confuse happiness with pleasure? Do you confuse consumption with happiness? Consumption is not happiness but fleeting pleasure. What is pleasure? Having one piece of cake. Maybe two. But, after three pieces, pleasure quickly turns to disgust and probably sickness.
My greatest goal, the most important thing to me, the thing I strive for, that I live for, the way I define good well-being, the ultimate thing that I aspire to be, the real reason behind why I do things, I do everything to be happy. Who doesn't want to be happy? Real, true happiness…inner happiness. Well, the happiest man alive, a French microbiologist turned Buddhist monk with an entertaining sense of humour, says just change your mind! Train your mind through meditation to be happy.
We are flesh puppets that are part of a culture of puppets that celebrate the negative side of our species. We are the people we don't want to be because we are entertained by the soulless, the bad and the heartless. We accept our own limited consciousness that is created when we don't look within ourselves…really see our selves…not with our eyes, ears, nose, mouth and hands, but our own magic…our own infinite consciousness.
Yep, his ideas sound kind of insane but he is totally on to mainstreaming something so powerful. Something within each and every human being. He is celebrating that thing that is so not a thing and yet is so simple. Your inner possibilities are endless. Maybe the world that you want so bad, that you keep trying to buy one object at a time, is actually quietly hibernating inside yourself and all you need to do is wake it up! Wake yourself up and unleash your magic.
Come on you dolphins! You unicorns! You monkeys! Welcome to the brand new world.
You're going to think I'm crazy and lost the plot. Oh well. Here it goes...
I've kind of felt like in the last two weeks that my spirit animal is the unicorn.
OK, so, you're either thinking, "She's gone feral hipster" or "She's got that whole earth goddess warrior priestess gonna save the world vibe." Or maybe neither. Probably neither.
There is something going on and it involves unicorns. Or maybe it embodies them. (It's probably all that telling myself I'm magic; it's seriously messing with my brain and my self-perception.) But honestly, I don't think it's possible for the words unicorns and uncool to be in the same sentence so there. Ha! More importantly, are there spirit animal rules? Can you be a unicorn one month and the next a hummingbird?
So to answer my seriously important spirit animal questions I started looking around Google. What I've learned in five minutes.
1. If you're hipster, you're likely to have a spirit animal. (There is even a hipster spirit animal flow chart!)
2. There are about a million quizzes out there to find your spirit animal.
3. Urban dictionary says its a representative of you or what you want to be.
And that's about the extent of Google's first page of search results. (What even exists on the second pages of Google searches? It remains a mystery to me.)
Oh well,. Nayyyy! Maybe I just wanted to use the unicorn picture.
OK stay with me here...
After my failed spirit animal Google quest, I started thinking about spirit animal origins and assumed (i.e. convinced myself with no actual evidence) they came from Native American stories...which made me think about the Chumash people who were natives to parts of coastal California and the story that someone recently reminded me of.
It's the story of the Rainbow Bridge.
The Earth Mother made a bridge out of rainbow so that the Chumash people could cross from the islands to the mainland and populate the world. It stretched from the tallest mountain on the island to the tallest mountain on the shore and the Earth Mother instructed the people to cross. But, being a rainbow, it was no modern day bridge. Some crossed safely but those who looked down became dizzy and fell into the water. To save them, the Earth Mother turned them into dolphins. Thus, dolphins are our brothers and sisters.
I think July will be my dolphin spirit animal month. I'm starting to feel like my pre-reincarnated self fell into the water.
It's the second day of winter here in the southern hemisphere and it's a full moon. Specifically, it's a full moon in Sagittarius. I'm feeling particularly feisty this full moon but at the same time peculiarly wistful. Honestly, one minute I feel like I could run a marathon and the next all I want to do is scroll through old high school photos. Maybe it's the fact that I'm so freakin' excited to see my sister that I haven't seen in 8 months this Saturday coming (!!!) Maybe it's that I've greatly decreased the amount of sugar that's going in my gob. Whatever it is, something is making me full of energy and something is making me feel stuck because I can't go forward and reminisce at the same time. It's like running downhill looking over your shoulder and that sucks when you lose your footing because you end up falling on your face. And when I fall on my face, I really end up screwing it up.
Anyway, I'm fired up with life right now but I've got a lot of crap I'm creating and hanging onto. This full moon is a great excuse to remind myself to let go. So, I'm going to release those things that come up that just aren't serving me anymore. Thoughts, ideas, beliefs, etc, they're all going to the wind!
What better time than to start a new month and new moon with an article titled 30 Things You Should Stop Putting Yourself Through? Or, if you're like me and 30 sounds like a few too many for one new start of letting go, here are 10 that I'm embracing.
1. Stop trying to be someone you're not. You're amazing. When you wake up tomorrow morning tell yourself that. You're freakin' awesome because there is no other you other than you. Also tell yourself you're magic, just for kicks.
2. Stop lying to yourself. I'm going to spend less time trying to convince myself that my truths aren't true. Embrace myself.
3. Stop trying to hold onto the past. The past gets heavy if you carry it around all the time. It also gets costly if you put it in storage. With some things, give them to the wind, close your eyes and turn the other way.
4. Stop being scared to make a mistake. The paths of success are actually paved with failure. As Paulo Coelho says in The Alchemist, "The secret of life, though, its to fall seven times and to get up eight."
5. Stop trying to buy happiness. The things that truly satisfy us are always free.
6. Stop looking to others for happiness. Happiness is a created inside. First create it, then give it.
7. Stop thinking you're not ready. I know I'll never feel ready. I just have to keep reminding myself this.
8. Stop being jealous of others. They're probably jealous of you anyways. What's the point of that?
9. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. Somehow the little things always turn out to be the big things.
10. Stop being ungrateful. When you wake up tomorrow, after you tell yourself you're amazing and magic, ask what you can do for the world today because you're so lucky to be able to give.
It's winter here so it's kind of crazy to be in a smoothie craze but I can't help myself. There is something about putting a bunch of random ingredients into a blender and bam! something completely new and delicious is created. I hear ya, now you might be a little put off and hesitant to even read the recipe. Honestly, if you would have introduced me to it a few months ago, my reaction would have probably been one word - ewwwww. But seriously, I have been converted. Give it a try. Spinach and chocolate really do go together!
So, here it is. A super duper healthy smoothie that is delicious and nutritious.
Green & Chocolate Smoothie
1 tray of ice cubes
1 handful of dates
1 frozen banana
1 handful spinach or kale
1/2 c. plain yoghurt
1/2 avocado
1 c. almond or coconut milk
1 1/2 tbsp. raw cacao
2 tbsp. chia seeds
1 tsp. maca powder
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. tumeric
*Ingredient amounts depend on what flavours you want to be punchy and bold and what ones you want to hide.
Put all ingredients in a blender and blend away!
Don't be turned off by the colour! I promise, it tastes way better than it looks. And, if you want to hide the green, put in more cacao.
A picture speaks a thousand words. Except, in the case of these photos, that's an understatement. They speak more like a million words, make you stop and think, then proceed to slap you in the face. Or maybe they just go right ahead and start swinging. Swinging and stinging. Either way, they are powerful.
There are a number of articles out there that list the 20, 40 or 60 most powerful social issue ads, but here are a handful that really resonated with me…or rang true…or just slapped really hard.
After each picture I can't help but ask -
Can we not do this anymore?
Can we not trick ourselves into thinking weapons protect us.
Can we not confuse spirituality with…well anything else.
Can we not ignore that which we cannot see.
Can we not turn a blind eye to what our food is literally wrapped in.
Can we not treat the earth like we do our bodies.
Can we not pretend that this is how we're supposed to look.
You must have come across it or at least heard about Russell Brand's you tube rants at one time or another. When did Brand become an enormously influential, political voice? Some time between the drug talk, the jokes and the Katy Perry marriage fling, Brand started speaking up and out in an insightful, intellectually stimulating and politically passionate way. Yes, I just said it. Maybe indirectly but I like it, love it and I want some more of it. Please, someone strip away the politics from the politicians, the aggression from the aggressors and the bias from the media!
Thank you Brand for creating The Trews because sadly (for them politicians and bigwigs) you say it better and without so much shite. Thank you for trying to set an example for others on how to BE the change, rather than being the change for people. If it's a revolution we need as you say, so be it, but just the fact of reminding people that yes, we are truly capable human beings of changing things ourselves - each and every one of us is capable of embodying change and creating something better than before. Together we can achieve more but don't go relying on some leader to come up with the "right" way to do things. Cultivate your own way. Cultivate your own change.
Remember my post back in March titled Love Has No Labels? The diversity and inclusion public service announcement in the US launched on Valentine's Day? Well, the theme is back. Actually, it never left. I love it so much that it is not going to leave. Ever. Because no-strings-attached love is something that I am all about. Let's call it my new mantra…yes, my new love mantra. And, I'm all about sharing it.
Granted, love without labels isn't always be easily to do. It's not always convenient or agree with social norms. It may be difficult. Heck, it may suck sometimes! Your pride may have to take a back seat. You might have to tell you ego to f-off, or someone to do just that.
Right, so why is it back? (Or, simply still here I guess because it never left…) Because there is a short film I want to share with you and I want you to watch it with the love mantra in your mind (Love has no labels, love has no labels, …)
Watch it and remember that love doesn't look, speak or walk a certain way. So, don't try to make it into something it isn't, or to try and understand something you aren't. Diversity is beautiful.
Love has humble beginnings in a feeling. Keep it simple.
Follow this link to watch the video. You'll be glad you did.
Not that I have any lawyers at bay or anything. Far from the truth. But, honestly, if an apple a day can keep the doctor away, I'm fully inclined to think that a love poem can do that to the divorce lawyer. Heck, why not create an excuse to dig up a handful of good poetry? I love a good love poem.
My favourite modern poet? Pablo Neruda. Hands down. Even though I am stuck reading his translated work, his poems still sound amazing. How does he do it?
So, even though I could so easily list out a handful of my favourites, I will only give you one. Only a leaf of the tree of our love…To S love A.
Enjoy it, savour it and wrap yourself in it.
And, if you're lucky, you might get another one tomorrow. Depends on the lawyer's location. I'll have to think about it. xoxo
Sonnet XVII
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this:
where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
I have a couple aversions that go hand in hand with the kitchen. Along with my distrust of microwaves, I don't like plastic containers. You know, takeaway containers or things you store your leftovers in? If it's flexy, see-through and isn't glass, I'm suspicious. I can just imagine it leaching the weirdness of what it's made of into my food!
I remember a study from a physiology class I took in college about fish living in a lake that was filled with run-off from a nearby plastic plant. (It was a while ago but the story went something like that…) What scientists found over time were a whole lot of confused fish. How were they confused? Males became females, androgyny became popular, females changed too.
#wtf that is so not cool. Sometimes I feel like I am being silly and paranoid but then I just think of that story and #omg we are conducting a similar experiment on ourselves! Think of all the stuff we eat and drink out of that is housed in plastic?! It's insane!
And then I watched the episode of Catalyst (yes, I love that show) called Our Chemical Lives (below) and that just sealed the paranoid deal for me. We are one big experiment.
But then again, this is only one experiment out of many we are running on the human race…ourselves. Bring on the weirdness! So not cool.
Put away the plastic. Put away the chemicals. If we don't know what it does, don't put that shit in my products.
When it comes to books, I like variety. I don't like to read the same thing twice. I like mixing up the genres - fantasy to historical fiction to sci-fi and throw in a couple non-fiction here and there. But, there are a few authors who I love and I love everything they write. I could read their works back to back, no problem. One of which is Tom Robbins. Unfortunately, he only wrote a handful of novels (of which wikipedia describes as "comedy-drama…wildly poetic stories." Agreed, they're bizarre.) Another is Margaret Atwood. Her works are a little larger of a handful thankfully and I am still working through them, but they include a couple of my favourite books of all time. Some would refer to my most favourite of her books as sci-fi but I prefer the term she has given, which is speculative fiction. She's a witty lady and I like it.
I came across Atwood's book, The Penelopiad, recently and gave it a go as I do with all her books. I had never heard of it and it requires an introduction (literally, as you shouldn't skip that first couple pages before the story starts) as it is completely off the wall. I admire her imagination. Way to go girl, taking Greek legend and letting your kookiness loose on it.
But, what really struck me and the reason that has inspired me to mention it here is not the actual book or story or the amazing ending. Yeah, you could read it but don't wait for me to give it a raving recommendation. It's not going to come. It doesn't have an epic storyline or ending. It doesn't finish with a bang or even include a bang in-between its covers. It isn't memorable. What is memorable though are the small take aways; the thought provoking tidbits that Atwood does so well. Those are what always stick with me. She is so good at articulating crazy ideas.
Here is one. It got me on the very first page of the very first chapter. (Penelope is in the underworld…)
Down here everyone arrives with a sack, like the sacks used to keep the winds in, but each of these sacks is full of words - words you've spoken, words you've heard, words that have been said about you.
What if you arrive in an after life with just that - a bag of words? It isn't important what you are, soul or body, or even your actions and regrets. How much you prayed or spiritualized or the time you invested in atoning doesn't amount to anything.
What have you said. What has been said about you. What are mouths morphing into descriptions of you. What words construct you. What words define you. What words do you live by. What words guide you.
Pinterest. Yes, I can't get enough. But, let me take it a step further. Recipes. Hold up! Let's be honest, it's all about the raw balls. Yummmmmm…delicious, nutritious, wholesome, little raw balls of sweet bliss. And, the ingredient combinations are endless! Seriously, they can include every thing from cacao to tahini and everything in-between! (I could be getting a little too excited as I have yet to put veggies in them but hey, never say never!)
It's about time for a recipe of two! In true Alison style, I have adapted each recipe to fit my tastes so here are some tried and tested.
I'm going to say it straight up. I'm not a huge fan of nuts. I hate (loathe, despise, abhor, etc) peanuts and peanut butter. The only two types of nuts I am..let's just say...comfortable with are macadamias and almonds. I stay well away from most others. Thus, I adapt a lot of recipes and use these two choices whenever the uncomfortable word nuts is used.
One last thing before the recipes, let me just highlight a key word…raw. This is an amazing, powerful and inherently simple thing but so under-rated. It's almost like the backbone of wholesome and healthy. Get a little more raw. Geez, it even sounds cool. Before I am tempted to digress, this is one of the best things about these recipes is that they're freakin' raw.
Apricot Macadamia Bliss Balls
300g dried apricots
110g macadamias
1 tbsp coconut oil
1/2 tbsp maple syrup
1 tbsp tahini
1 tsp cinnamon
1tsp vanilla
pinch salt
Directions: Combine ingredients in a food processor. Roll into balls. Easy as that! One, two, wait...that's it!
Chocolate Truffles
Let's be honest, these aren't pretty. They look like rolled dirt. But boy do they taste good!
Approx 20 dates
3/4c. almond meal
1/4c. macadamias
1/4c. almond/chia butter
1/4c. raw cacao powder
1 tsp vanilla
pinch salt
Directions: Same as above!
I don't have a picture for these but again, they were kind of ugly so it's probably a good thing I don't!
Carrot Cake Power Bites
4 softened, peeled & grated carrots
(I know, not really raw but oh well. Raw might be fine too though!)
1/2c. dates
1/2c. almond butter
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2c. almond meal
1 tsp cinnamon
pinch salt
1/2 tsp nutmeg
dash of ground ginger
Directions: The usual, combine and roll.
And these 3 are just the tip of the raw iceberg! There are so many more ball/bite recipes I want to try! Cinnamon Caramel Apple, Gingerbread, Chocolate Peppermint, Maca Truffles, Caramel Macadamia, Apple Pie, Matcha Bliss...
You may have seen this video floating around the internet in the last month. It's one about love and other things...but mostly just love. And, I love that it is about love. I want to keep the love continuing until the next Valentine's Day…and the next…etc etc.
It was shot on Valentine's Day this year in California by the Ad Council as a public service announcement that "Love Has No Labels."
(The Ad Council is an interesting American non-profit… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad_Council)
I could talk about the video but the power isn't in words. The power is in your sense of sight and the experience of what you witness with your eyes.
Open your eyes, open your heart and watch it. And then watch it again.
Today on my newsfeed The Self-Esteem Diet popped up. I was intrigued as it was a confusing title and I wasn't sure if it was referring to vegetables or body image. I was pleasantly surprised that it talked about habits of a different kind - not the usual food in mouth ones - but the choices behind the knowledge. We know what is good for us; we know that we should eat the kale and avoid the cake. But, why do we continue to eat the (deliciously gooey chocolate) cake even though it makes us feel ill after we stuff our face. (That isn't just me, is it?) Our habits are based on choices that we make that are highly correlated with our self -esteem.
So, how do we build up our self-esteem? How do we create a good foundation that can support us in making good choices? By avoiding some "foods," eating some sparingly and stuffing our faces with others.
What are some foods to avoid?
Gossip -
Think about it. Does it really make you feel better about yourself by exposing others or speaking of their misfortunes? Keep the karma good. Don't give a damn.
Comparisons -
Stop it. You are you, they are them. This includes avoiding comparing yourself to others on social media. No one is you. Everyone is unique. Everyone's situation is unique. Self worth does not equal likes. Look to others for inspiration not a reason to dislike yourself.
Negativity -
Surround yourself with people and things that energise you and make you feel better, not worse.
What to eat in moderation?
Discomfort -
Step outside of your comfort bubble once in a while. It will feel weird and uncomfortable at first. You will feel vulnerable and uneasy but let me tell you, when you go through with it, you will feel a huge sense of achievement.
What to gobble up?
Gratitude -
That is, giving gratitude. What are you grateful for that you have? A bed, parents, a home? Legs, arms, a voice? A healthy, functioning, loving heart?
Which leads me to the next thing I found…The case for emotional hygiene. A TED talk on why we should treat our psychological health like we do physical health.
Why do we spend more time on our teeth then our mind?! Why is our physical health more important than our mental health? What do we teach our children - how to band-aid their knees but not soothe their mind? That cut could fester if we ignore it. Well, so could that negative state of mind.
If you had a cut on your arm, would you voluntarily deepen the wound? If it was on your leg and inhibited your walking, would you walk it off to make it better? Well, why do we encourage people to push through when they're feeling mentally crap?
Why do we value the body over the mind? Let's not. Let's encourage all types of personal hygiene - body and mind.
One last bit of the TED talk that I love. This is what I want to leave you with...
Why do people function below their actual potential? (Yes, I've mentioned this in a previous post. We have no clue what we are actually capable of!) We convince ourselves we can't succeed and then we believe ourselves! Our mind is hard to change once we become convinced. It is hard to break the negative cycle. But, focus on breaking it before it begins.
Our mind and feelings are not our trusted friends. I know, this is a weird and unnatural feeling concept. I want to trust myself but let's be honest with ourselves; we say mean things to ourselves. We talk ourselves down. We tell ourselves we are not pretty enough, not smart enough, not strong enough. Our mind is our moody friend. So, treat yourself as a good friend would. Say nice things to yourself.
So, protect yourself. Change a few simple habits. Build resilience through good mind and body "food."
Yes, you'll be surprised to hear Arianna Huffington's answer to that question. As an incredibly successful woman, you might think she'd advise to work crazy hard and never give up and blah blah blah…but guess what she instead suggests? Get more sleep. I know, kind of crazy and radical but so easy and simple! Please please please, I hope gone are the days that people stop bragging about how they worked so hard that they barely got any sleep and they are therefore functioning on 3,4,5 hours of shut-eye. Maybe we could even hear a manager or director in the near future discourage this sleep depriving behaviour. (One can only hope…)
But seriously, I love this idea. You know why? I love sleeping. I love going to bed early. And quite frankly, I get tired of people giving me weird looks as a response to me voicing my sleeping successes. A good 8-9 hours of sleep? That's my idea of a true success. Thank goodness I've now got someone substantial supporting me!
What are the benefits of sleep? Why should you get more? You'll make better decisions. You'll be more present. You'll see the iceberg before the titanic hits it. (Watch the video and the reference will make more sense.) Honestly though, I agree with Arianna, leadership could do with more; our leaders could do with more. Sleep. It will make you more productive, inspired and will lead to a more joyful life.
More present...you'll be more present. I don't know if Arianna actually uses the word present but this is something that I've had on my mind lately. I've come to realise more and more that there is no point in a lot of things if you're not present. Stop trying to get ahead of everyone by being preoccupied with the future. Stop being obsessed with the past. The only way to live is in the present. Honestly, there is no other way to do it. Live now. Not later, not tomorrow, not yesterday. If you are listening, listen! If you are sleeping, sleep! Whatever you're doing, experience IT, not what you think it should be or what you hoped it would be, just it. Turn on, tune in, just don't drop out.
Sleep your way to success. What a concept! I like this lady. Her book Thrive has just moved up my "need to read" book list.
I came across The Death of Conversation today. Wait, no, that's not totally correct. I came across a number of articles about it today. That's not to say that I haven't experienced it and witnessed it and even taken part in it numerous times over the years. But, what the Death articles are actually about are a series of pictures taken by Babycakes Romero (whhhat? I know, not sure about the name but it's beside the point so let's not dwell on it. Besides that, he's done well...) that highlight our phone obsession and our lack of face to face conversation because of it.
Is this what we really look like?! OMG it is and that is making me uncomfortable. Honestly though, what I'm really struggling with is that the photos are so relatable. That could be me in the cafe...
Me in the gallery...
Me on the bus…
Ok, yeah..no, I'm not a delivery man, but you get the point.
I think most everyone can see themselves in the pictures. I don't know how that makes you feel but it doesn't make me feel proud. I kind of feel embarrassed. Why are we doing this to ourselves and each other? Why are we rejecting what is right in front of us...who is right in front of us…reality that is right in front of us?!
Which leads me to something I think about sometimes…Why is silence so awkward? It's weird that we feel as though we have to talk and talk until we don't have anything left to say and at that point we need to check out of "face-to-face reality" and join "phone reality." When did silence become awkward? When in conversation, I really appreciate someone who doesn't feel like it's a necessity to fill the silence when we stop talking for a few seconds or even a minute or two. I like a good ponder without the assistance of a device. I think it takes confidence to be able to do this. Plus, I think people have forgotten or ignore the fact that we can communicate in more ways than just conversation.
Can I extend a challenge to you (and myself?) The next time there is a conversation gap, don't look at your phone. I know, it might feel hard or weird at first but just don't do it and see what happens. How does it make you feel after you get past the awkward?
There is nothing wrong with silence. It's not awkward.
Want to see more of the pictures? Here is an article that features them -
Ever heard that your heart has an electromagnetic field? That it can be detected and measured several feet away form the body?
Wait, just think about this for a sec. I'm not talking about things that just affect you in our own little bubble now. You're putting things out there for other people to experience. We transmit information outside our body to those around us. What kind of signal is happy, sad, angry, relaxed, open…different that's what! And, those different signals you're putting out have an effect on those around you. People and animals will respond differently based on what you are putting out, i.e. what they are receiving. Think about the person sitting next to you. What is your heart making them feel? What is your heart telling them? Ever consider that?
Our brain and heart talk. The heart has a huge system of neurons. The heart sends meaningful messages to the brain. Take another sec and think about this…I always had the understanding that the brain told the heart what to do, not the other way around. It told our heart to beat, beat faster, beat slower, do this or do that. But, that's not not the whole story anymore. Do you realise what this entails? The heart acts as though it has its own mind.
The heart has a lot to say when it comes to our perceptions, feelings and behaviours. It influences the way we perceive the world. It is a powerful, rhythmic generator, the most powerful of the body actually. It produces meaningful electricity; signals for others to perceive.
So, take a millisecond to consider what you are offering up to other people. What is your electricity saying?
Some amazing fast facts -
The heart's electrical field is 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain.
The magnetic field produced by the heart is more than 5,000 times greater in strength than the field generated by the brain.
I've blabbed about 2 kinds of yoga poses before - backbends and inversions. Well, here I go again. But seriously, I am only doing so because of 2 good reasons. One, I love them. Two, they're good for you.
After sitting in a chair for most of the day, my back pretty much screams at me to bend and flex it. It aches if I don't. A backbend is like a reset button…no wait, better yet, one of the buttons within my reset code that I require daily. Give it go, because no matter what form your backbend takes, or how little or big the motion you require, you won't realise you need it until you do it.
Speaking of a body reseting code, this would also be one of my buttons - an inversion. Preferably at the end of the code sequence for me, turning myself upside down is more of a grounding mind trick to give myself an oh yeah, the world isn't just one way reality slap. Everything is different upside down. I mean everything. Let me start elaborating by focusing on the senses:
1. The obvious is that um duh, your vision is upside down.
2. You hear sound different. Probably has to do with how you're receiving it. It is travelling down to you instead of up or across.
3. Instead of your feet touching the ground your hands, head or arms are in contact
4. Well, you smell the floor. Deal with it. Or, clean your floor. Or, invert on the grass. I love the smell of grass.
Once you are semi-comfortable upside down, you'll notice that your breathing starts to slow and become steady, thus giving you a calming sensation. You'll get a feel good kind of kick. Plus, I'm a big fan of getting out of my comfort zone. Sometimes making myself uncomfortable is a good way to bring myself back, kind of a grounding experience, an acceptance of humility and at the same time confidence.
So, from all that yoga pose babble, I think I only really mean one thing:
I couldn't encourage you more to practise things that open your heart and shift your perspective.
One of the things I really miss from the USA is Anthropologie. I know, I know, I'm being completely and utterly superficial, but it is one of my favourite shops. I miss just going in and window shopping. Yep, just having a stroll around looking at all the beautiful stuff and maybe, just maybe buying a thing or two, once in a while. Now that I'm in Australia I can still shop online but it's not the same. Looking at pictures of pretty things isn't the same as being in the midst and trying them on in the shop. Plus, when you order something from another country, there is always the chance it can get lost in the post after you've paid an exorbitant amount for shipping.
But, I've caved in and I'm scrolling through the Anthro website right now.
So, in the spirit of Anthro Oh how I miss you! here are my fav things on their website right now:
How cool are these?! Asymmetrical - A letter and a stone. Love the contrast.
And these...they are like the half sister of both the wedge and the clog.
I think the wearer of this quite possibly might require a preggo belly but it still looks soft and beautiful. And hey! look! it's the Aussie brand Zimmerman! Too bad it's ridiculously expensive.
I just want to sit on the couch, like I'm doing now, but in this top (above)...wearing these shorts (below):
And then I'd love to wear this outfit to work the next day, even though I'd look like a massive flying squirrel in it (how does she pull it off?!):
This is just lovely:
I think I've tortured myself enough, and if I don't stop now I might just go to the checkout…stop. now.
But seriously, I'm confounded. Why have I never come across this word?! I could have been using it in so many totally appropriate situations!
So, what does it mean?
Well, according to http://psychologydictionary.org, awfulizing is a noun that refers to an irrational and dramatic thought pattern, characterised by the tendency to overestimate the potential seriousness or negative consequences of events, situations or perceived threats. A person who engages in awfulizing likely predicts the most catastrophic outcome in every circumstance.
Or, according to the Oxford Dictionary, it means to imagine a situation to be as bad as it can possibly be.
Which, in summary, advises to live in the present and focus on our positive thoughts because unfortunately we are prone to fixate on the negative and awfulize them. It's a good one. Read it. And then, use the word awfulize because even though it has a negative connotation, it is a great opportunity to realise that it is the perfect word for that horrible thing that we all do.
…where people take Ikea pieces and make them into things they're not. If Ikea hacking is a new thing to you, allow me to introduce it to you because it is pretty cool. People do some awesome stuff with Ikea furniture. There are cabinets made into bars, tables transformed into ceiling sculptures, and my personal favourite, kitchen trollies made into bathroom washstands.
So, when there were no standard vanities that would fit in our teeny, tiny bathroom space to replace our existing atrocious vanity, I got frustrated and then creative. (It's amazing what positivity can blossom out of negativity sometimes!) I came across the Ikea Hackers website through a Pinterest post and I stole the idea of converting a kitchen trolley into a washstand with mounted basin! Witness the following:
Oh no, I didn't build it! I have very little talent in that area. I struggle to even to assemble Ikea items! But, if you're lucky like I am, maybe you have an exceptionally talented, handy partner at home to build your ideas.
So, I encourage you to think outside the box (or, the bounds of your conventional room) and use something for something it isn't usually used for. It can even be cheaper than your standard inexpensive, pre-made alternatives!
I don't think I've ever not read all three books of a trilogy series. (Double negative confusion? Me too actually…) Let me rephrase, I always read all available books of a story. Usually, by the third one I am dying to know what happens because the second leaves the characters in shambles and I can't wait to see how the destined-to-fail pieces will miraculously be put together. I'm the type of reader who rarely picks up a book and doesn't put it down until the last page. (What is with me and double negatives tonight? What does it mean?! Was that even a double negative?! I think it was just awkward...) What I mean is that I don't give up on books. I only put it down after the last page. Not halfway through and definitely not a chapter in. I have to finish what I start. Simple as that. So, when I finished the second book of the Bronze Horseman series by Paullina Simons, knowing full well there is a third book waiting, I was confused. I'll try and not spoil the story for you because it's a great read, but when a second book ends with a happily ever after, who needs a third book? What were you thinking Paullina? Was it in the book deal contract? Because, you didn't need a third one and to be honest, I'm not going to read it. Ever. And that is quite a call coming from a thorough reader like myself. You tied all the knots! Did you want to do a double knot? Earth to author, these aren't your sneakers. Your hero succeeded in their ultimate conquest! The love story unfolded with everything finally falling into place! What more could a reader want? Nothing actually.
Nonetheless, I recommend reading the story. Definitely book one and two. I can't advise on the third. Actually, I wouldn't advise. Trust me, you'll see.
If you want to read a romantic, historical fiction novel about two tragic lovers stuck in the Soviet Union as the Germans attack in 1941, I highly recommend The Bronze Horseman and The Bridge to Holy Cross. Yes, you have to get through the sometimes endless pages of pointless dialogue between the two main characters and the repetitive nature of the writing in the second book, but who wouldn't feel intensely for two young lovers having their rights unraveled before them? It's a page turner most of the time.
Sometimes medicine feels good when you take it and sometimes it feels bad. But, after the fact, it usually helps and is usually what you need. I like to think of yoga poses as medicinal. You know the ones that you despise and have to literally force your body into? You hate doing them because your body never seems to do what you want it to do. Your breathing is uneven and laboured and every second spent in it is one second too long. Plus, there is always the person in class who is a legend, and compared to them you look like football player trying to do the splits. Awkward, to say the least. Well, yep, those poses are the best medicine. They are hard or hurt because you need them the most.
On the other hand, there are poses that you love to do because your body responses well to them. It bends how you want it to bend and you even surprise yourself sometimes at how deep into the pose you can go. These can be medicinal as well. You need them because they give you something you know you require. Your body likes it because it feels good, and it's what it is asking for. And, instead of not being able to go deeper into it, you end up having control over your breathe and pushing deeper, opening your heart and receiving what you need.
In a nut shell, some poses are kids gummy vitamins and some are Betadine you have to gargle. Blahhhh.
One of my gummy bears is wheel pose. I love it. It gives me the feeling like….like…if I were I bird it would be when I stretched my wings. It opens up my shoulders, my back, my sides, my hips etc etc. Plus, I love looking at the world upside down. There is something really healing about an upside down perspective. It is seriously calming and when things get a little overwhelming, being upside down is grounding.
But, the benefits of this particular gummy bear don't stop there. It is super good for the spine, stretching it and relieving compression. It improves respiration. It is energising. What else? It ignites all 7 chakras. For 10 reasons to love wheel pose, visit this page:
Don't know about chakras? That's another day and completely separate blog post. Although, you can visit this page for a super quick, condensed overview:
As I'm lying on the floor recovering, I have to share with you what the best online, in the comfort of your own home workout there is out there. No lies. There are three reasons why I love these online workouts.
1. There are hundreds of videos to chose from depending on what area of the body you want to target.
2. They are short. Most are under 10 minutes.
3. They are not sissy workouts. There are the hardest few minutes of your life.
I find that the worst thing about most workout videos is that they take so long and are slow paced so I lose interest, and then they just become another household chore to add to the list.
That's why I love #blogilates
She has quick, seriously difficult workouts that target the yucky spots that are so hard to get sore. Or, so hard to force yourself to combat because who wants to do a million sit-ups? She mixes it up and has some innovative yet extremely effective Pilates moves to kick your butt. You can do a couple videos in succession and bam! you're sore for the two days. My fav are the abs and waist videos.
So, what are you waiting for?! Seriously, give it a try! You will die… but in a good way.
I was scrolling through the Jezebel website (Haven't heard of it? Well, it's a kinda sorta feminist site) a couple days ago and came across this article...
…Which is one of many written about a love lab study conducted years ago. (Why do I not have the job of a Love Psychologist? I need to figure out why I am not that, pronto.) This study, which was recreated recently by an academic/author, seems to support the idea that by scripting questions and manipulating the conversation between two people you can speed up the intimacy of verbal exchange and thus make two people start to feel love for each other. (Ummmm, that is definitely not a scientific conclusion - that was my verbal blahhh from the article.) So, by the end of the 36 questions, you're closer and more comfortable with the other person because you have made yourself vulnerable and in a way that you probably never would have done left to your own devices.
Interesting, right? I encourage you to not only read the article but also the 36 questions and ask yourself how they make you feel.
To conclude, too things have really stuck with me since the article. Two things that I had never really considered. The first is a concept that is in the last bit of the article:
...love not as something that happens to us, but as an action we take, a choice we make.
Whhhhat?! We don't fall in love?! We actually have self control?! We choose our partners?! Yeah, I guess that makes sense but that sure doesn't go along with the hollywood love stigma. Just like we choose our partner, we choose to love them.
Second thing - Is this study showing only that we can speed up love or that we can essentially fall in love with anyone? Whoa. Ever considered girls? Boys? Why not?
Ok, this is blowing my mind. Just read the article.
Ever thought that you might not be celebrating or even acknowledging the right things in life? Maybe you need a reason or even a word to express what you already do or believe?
We can all learn a thing or two from other cultures. This article I came across through #collectiveevolution is yet another opportunity to use the already brilliant, proven ways of others.
Here are some reasons to celebrate the old, the new, the indoors and the outdoors:
I was folded in half in yoga today and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Literally, my nose was resting between my toes. Now, half of me is in pain and I'm struggling to walk because my hips are so sore. It's awkward and my muscles hurt. But, at the same time I'm stoked because I did something that I never thought I'd be flexible enough to do. Yes, it's always weird when the yoga instructor practically lies on you to encourage your body to stretch, but if they hadn't have pushed me I won't have ever pushed myself that far into the poses today. I felt kind of yucky still from being sick, weak at the same time and was taking it easy but even so, on a bad day, I did something I find amazing. I was able to fold myself in half, in two different poses! Miraculous!
Or maybe not. How much more is there that I'm capable of achieving yet I hold myself back from? What would you do if you had no fear? No sense of consequence? Embraced your child self a little more often? Maybe didn't kill your your own creativity? Think of how much more we could all be achieving! I honestly believe we have no idea what we are capable of achieving, as individuals or as communities.
Maybe it's because we are creatures of habit or maybe it's just because sometimes we need someone to give us a little push in the right direction, but either way it's still our own potential and there is so much of it that we need to tap into.
So, the next time you are considering all the reasons why that dream job role is so out of reach, or the pretzel yoga pose is just too crazy outside of your abilities, if it feels impossible, there is a good chance you'll be able to achieve it. Plus, you might even be good at it.
We have so much potential. Let's use it for the good. The good of ourselves and the good of our world.
Have you heard of the benefits of drinking warm honey lemon water? The list goes on and on! So when I woke up feeling yucky this morning, I took the advice I'd been given and made two cups of boiled water, squeezed a lemon into each and added a tablespoon of honey. It's an intense mixture of sweet and sour but it's actually really refreshing as an early morning drink.
#anthromugs
Intrigued yet? I was. I had heard that it was good for you but I had never given it much attention. So, I googled it, like you do when you want to know something fast.
Want to know some of the benefits?
Well, the list is too long so just google it.
JK! But seriously it is. In the meantime, here are a few:
Aids in better digestion
Helps weights loss
Improves oral health, bad breath and skin
Helps your body maintain a higher pH which helps your body fight disease
The Vit C helps the body fight colds
Helps keep constipation at bay
There a million articles out there so get reading and get drinking!
I can't for the life of me say the name of this place but #omg the #turkishfood is amazing. No, that's an understatement. Last weekend when S and I went there on a last minute whim, without a booking, I think I died and went to turkish heaven. In this heaven, there are 7 different types of dips. That's right, 7 ways of doing dips. That pretty much makes it 7th heaven I would assume??!! #lamejoke. Anyway, the deliciousness doesn't end there! The dolmades are killer and the kebab plates are deadly. The pictures can't even begin to do the flavours justice. #foodporn
And the name of the place? Erciyes. I can't say it. Where do I even begin? Isn't there a mountain named that? And even if I do get a string of sounds out of my mouth that sound somewhat like a word, I still know it's wrong. No hope there.
But, oh there is hope! Thank goodness! To eat there you don't even need to say the name. Hallelujah! So, do it. Go to Surry Hills and eat there because it's amazing. You will die.
